you: that is a nice ass shirt
me: thank you but, to be honest, its called “pants” and not an “ass shirt”
I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.
(submitted by anonymous)
How I spent my time at Pompeii today
sometimes i’ll have loads of money and then other times i’ll be awake
hey sorry im late i didnt want to come
The twitter screenshot or the text post?
walt has no chill
me: *doesn’t start hw until 10 pm*
me: *at 10:15 pm* i am dROWNing in sCHOOL work why do teachers do this to me I hATE THis cruel WORLD look at all of THE iNJUSTICE